ADULT SMS

Come here,take off urs pants and knickers, get on top of me, enjoy until u get satisfied,
loving urs.....toilet!
Lastnite i went 2 bed without u..cold,naked,thinking of u, missing ur warmth, ur soft touch against my skin. Where were u lastnite,
my lovely pyjamas
Press down down more Ok more YES ahh ohh yes almost there yeah oh shit harder SO GOOD ! mmmmm That's how I sex on text !
I really deeply wish tat u r here with me in my room. on my bed & lights off & we get under the cover together.. 2 show u my glow in the dark watch.

BUY A SCOOTY.....PICK UP A BEAUTY, DRINK A FROOTY.... TAKE HER TO OOTY, REMOVE HER NIGHTY...DO UR DUTY..AFTER 9 MONTHS ... GET A CUTY
The most difficult golf course in the world is... "Women Hole"
any style you play... as many shots you try... & as much perfection you have... you can never get your balls in...!!!
What's the closest thing to a woman's period?
Your salary.
It comes once a month,
lasts About 3 or 4 days and if it doesn't come, everything's fucked

He came at night,
explored my body,
got on top of me,
touched me,
he bit, sucked, swalowd,
when he was satisfyed,
he left,
i was hurt,
BLOODY... MOSQUITO !!!!

Old mother Hubbard went 2 d cupboard 2 fetch d poor dog a bone. but when she bent over Rover took over & gave her a bone of his own!

4 road signs which stands in front of a womans vagina....
1)Caution-dark tunnel.
2)Drive carefully-road wet n slippery.
3)Go slow.
4) Men at work

Richman to poorman- "How-come ur penis so big?
Poorman-replied: "B'coz in my childhood i had no other toys to play"!!!

During sexual session the girl says: "u r like a mobile phone!"
Boy: "Do I vibrate a lot?"
Girl: "No,when u get in 2 d tunnel u loose network

Q: Who is senior,
PENIS or VAGINA.
A:VAGINA
b'cos PENIS always stands up when he sees a VAGINA..So respect the seniors!
Q: Wats d definition of a 'lesbian?'
A: Just another damn Woman.....tryin 2 do a man's job!!!.
Modern medicines: Fucknostat, Sexprazole, Sucksproxyvon, Hugglofnac, Kisstopache, Spermicidin, Breastajin, Ejaculatomol, Vaginalgin, Penisciloc, Orgasmofen.
Similarity between Viagra & Rail reservation counter? Both make you stand for 1 hour for a 2 minute job...
Love is a Gambling, Don't play with it Guys get fun, Girls get blame 10 minutes of fun, 9 months of pain
Then a baby comes out without any name. Enjoy it or think it before you do it.
A Kiss isn't a Kiss without some tongue So Open your mouth, Close your eyes and Give your tongue some exercise,.
Its been a rough day. I got up this morning, put on a shirt N a button fell off. I picked up my briefcase N the handle came off. I'm afraid 2 go 2 the bathroom.
I really deeply wish tat u r here with me in my room. on my bed & lights off & we get under the cover together.. 2 show u my glow in the dark watch.

I once had a ONE-2-ONE night with a VIRGIN.She teased me till i got an ERICKSON.sucked me till my face went ORANGE till i busted my load of SEIMEN over her NOKIAS.


I hereby place u under arrest 4 violating code 69 - distracting public with ur xtreme good looks & sex appeal, remain silent & report 2 my bedroom.

A man was looking at a painting 4 a long time of a naked woman with leaves covering the body, he was asked what he was doing & he answered - waitng 4 autumn.

GUY: If I could see you naked, I'd die happy. GAL: If I see you naked, I'd probably die laughing.

I do not have the muscles of Stallone, I am not as handsome as Brad Pitt, I am not as strong as Schwarzenegger, but I can lick as good as Lassie!!!

Its been a rough day. I got up this morning, put on a shirt N a button fell off. I picked up my briefcase N the handle came off. I'm afraid 2 go 2 the bathroom.

American students say : people who never experience good sex and do not perform well in bed, usually read their SMS messages with their right hand.

A guy walks up to a girl and says: Wanna play *Magic*? She says: What's that? He says: We go to my place, have sex and than you disappear!

A husband was asked: Do u talk to your wife after sex? His answer: Depends, if I can find a phone.


Amitabh bachan in KBC: "Question for 10 lac to Sardar jee"
What is the colour of your wife's underwear?
Option 1 : White
Option 2 : Grey
Option 3 : Black
Option 4 : Blue
Sardar jee : Can i phone a friend?


Sex is a sensation. It's about a man's temptation, putting his location in a woman's destination. Do you understand the explanation or do you need a demonstration?

A peach is a peach,a plum is a plum,A kiss ain't a kiss without some tongue.So open up your mouth and close you eyes and give your tongue some exercises!!

There is Hot-sex, Fast-sex, Group-sex, Safe-sex, Leather-sex, Telephone-sex, and for people with your face ...NO SEX !
A girl for First the time was handling a boy's cock. After some time, some drops came out, she asked wat's that? The boy said:Yeh Khushi ke AANSOO hai.
Niple niple little star ...can i suck you in my car ...up above the breast so have...always milky never dry...let me touch it never shy...in the bra it will be dry ...
Q: What is a kiss?
A: Very simple, its an enquiry at the top floor about the vacancy in the ground.
When I went to the Madras, I fucked a lady on the grass...When I insert inch One, She says its none... When I insert inch Two She says its few...
When I insert inch Three, She says its free... When I insert inch Four, She says its i want more...When I insert inch Five, She says its just like a knife...When I insert inch Six, She says its fix...When I insert inch Seven, She says i m feeling in a heaven...When I insert inch Eight, She says its great...When I insert inch Nine, She says its hole of mine...When I insert inch Ten, She says are you a donkey or a man...Sex is like a restaurant, sometimes u get good service, sometimes bad service, sometimes no service and many times u hav 2 be happy wid self service.
If u hav 2 eggs between ur 2 legs u r a man but if u hav 4 eggs between ur 2 legs don't think u r a superman someone is F**king u
Did u know meaning of WOMEN?
"W"ant
"O"ne
"M"an for
"E"very
"N"ight
How is sex related to maths?..add two person and a bed..substract cloths..divide the legs..multiply the strokes..and the result is satisfucktion..!aha!!!
A woman married a one legged man. She wrote to her mother:"My husband only has ONE FOOT".
Her Mother replied:
"You are lucky, your papa has ONLY 5 INCHES".
Girl to Doctor: My mobile got stuck in my vagina since last 4 days in vibration mode.
Doctor: OK, I will remove this easily.
Girl: Just recharge the battery.
A gud friend is like a gud bra... hard 2 find- comfortable- supportive- prevents u from falling- holds u tight- and is always close 2 ur heart!
2 men went to fuck a girl.
1st came out after fucking a girl n said...
''My wife is better''
2nd went in ,fuck a girl... Came out n said...
''U were right, your wife is better..
In chemistry class teacher ask 2 a Girl. what is nitrate?
Girl(sharma k) sir,night rate Rs1500/ hotel k bhi aap pay karo gay.
How To Teach Mathmatics To A Girl.
st add lips
2nd minus clothes
3rd divide legs
and then start Multiplication in the Sweetest Point.
I do not have the muscles of Stallone, I am not as handsome as Brad Pitt, I am not as strong as Schwarzenegger, but I can lick as good as Lassie!!!
Its been a rough day. I got up this morning, put on a shirt N a button fell off. I picked up my briefcase N the handle came off. I'm afraid 2 go 2 the bathroom.
Always start your day with a lot of... S E X
S - SMILE style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">
E - ENERGY X - XCITEMENT so make S E X a daily habit, and youll always B SUCSEXFUL! in LIFE.
It is said that inzamam don't understand english. Once commentator asked, "Hay inzi your wife had a baby last week, is this true?". Inzi said, "first of all i thanks to Allah and then credit goes to all boys,they really worked hard especially afridi done very well. If they continue wecan have another chance.
I like your style - I like your class - but most of all i like your ass.

HOW 2 SATISFY A WOMAN: caress excite cuddle fascinate spoil kiss rub tease pamper console worship respect & love. HOW 2 SATISFY A MAN: blow job .

Do you like maths?if so add a bed subtract ur clothes divide your legs and we can multiply!

SEASON DHAMAKA OFFER
Send your girlfriend to me and win a baby
HURRY UP
First ten will get twins

23 useless parts on a mans body.20 nails u cant hammer.2 balls u cant throw &1 cock that cant "crow" dont laff ladies?? UR PUSSY CANT CATCH MICE


A girl who opens her hands recieves gifts, who opens her heart receives love, who opens her legs receives happiness .

A teacher asked "wot part of the body goes to heaven first?" A child replied "feet" - coz every nite i c my mum with her feet in the air screamin GOD I'M COMIN!

Types of arse ...
(_!_) An arse
(__!__) Fat arse
(!) Tight arse
(_?_) Dumb arse
(_*_) Sore arse
(_zzz_) Tired arse
(_E=mc2_) Smart arse
(_x_) Kiss my arse!

Old mother Hubbard went 2 d cupboard 2 fetch d poor dog a bone. but when she bent over Rover took over & gave her a bone of his own!

Why do women have orgasms during sex??? It gives them something to moan about even when they are fuc***g enjoyin themselves.

Mobilink regrets 2 inform u that the network has gone down on everyone except u. We regret 2 inform u that no one would go down on u not even a network.

A man said 2 his doctor 'everytime I look in the mirror I get an erection' the doctor said 'That's because u look like a cunt!

Peter Peter Pumpkin eater had a wife & liked to beat her smacked her twice around da head F**ked her arse & went 2 bed!

Jack & Jill went up da hill 2 have a little fun.But stupid Jill forgot da pill and now they have a son.

Sex is evil and evil's a sin. but sins are forgiven so lets get stuck in!!

If your right leg was thanksgiving and Your left leg was Christmas could I meet U between the holidays?

I want triplets You want twins. Lets get in bed and see who wins!

He took me from a bar. He took me in his car. He took my top off. He puts his lips on mine, but don't worry: I'm a bottle of wine!

How to impress a woman: compliment her, kiss her, love her, tease her, protect her, listen to her, support her. How 2 impress a man: Show up naked, bring beer!!.

What is hard and long and full of semen? >>> Submarine <<<

Love is a name, Sex is a game. Forget the name and play the game!

When a man talks dirty to a woman, it's sexual harassment. When a woman talks dirty to a man, it's $$$ per minute.!

A cat and a rooster sat by a lake, the cat fell in the lake, the rooster laughed! LESSON: when there's a wet pussy, there's a happy cock!

Why do men pass gas more than women? Because women won't shut up long enough to build up pressure.

1 day there was tis naked man N elephant, da elephant looks at the naked man 4 a few seconds, then ask da naked man, 'HOW CAN U BREATH THRU THAT LITTLE THING?'

I want to suck you... I want to lick you... I wanna move my tongue all over you... I want to feel you in my mouth... that's how u... eat an ice cream...

if u were a drum id bang u, if u were a pig id pork u, if u were a flower id root u, if u were a nail id screw u, but It is said that inzamam don't understand english. Once commentator asked, "Hay inzi your wife had a baby last week, is this true?". Inzi said, "first of all i thanks to Allah and then credit goes to all boys,they really worked hard especially afridi done very well. If they continue wecan have another chance.
I like your style - I like your class - but most of all i like your ass.

HOW 2 SATISFY A WOMAN: caress excite cuddle fascinate spoil kiss rub tease pamper console worship respect & love. HOW 2 SATISFY A MAN: blow job .

Do you like maths?if so add a bed subtract ur clothes divide your legs and we can multiply!

SEASON DHAMAKA OFFER
Send your girlfriend to me and win a baby
HURRY UP
First ten will get twins

23 useless parts on a mans body.20 nails u cant hammer.2 balls u cant throw &1 cock that cant "crow" dont laff ladies?? UR PUSSY CANT CATCH MICE


A girl who opens her hands recieves gifts, who opens her heart receives love, who opens her legs receives happiness .

A teacher asked "wot part of the body goes to heaven first?" A child replied "feet" - coz every nite i c my mum with her feet in the air screamin GOD I'M COMIN!

Types of arse ...
(_!_) An arse
(__!__) Fat arse
(!) Tight arse
(_?_) Dumb arse
(_*_) Sore arse
(_zzz_) Tired arse
(_E=mc2_) Smart arse
(_x_) Kiss my arse!

Old mother Hubbard went 2 d cupboard 2 fetch d poor dog a bone. but when she bent over Rover took over & gave her a bone of his own!

Why do women have orgasms during sex??? It gives them something to moan about even when they are fuc***g enjoyin themselves.

Mobilink regrets 2 inform u that the network has gone down on everyone except u. We regret 2 inform u that no one would go down on u not even a network.

A man said 2 his doctor 'everytime I look in the mirror I get an erection' the doctor said 'That's because u look like a cunt!

Peter Peter Pumpkin eater had a wife & liked to beat her smacked her twice around da head F**ked her arse & went 2 bed!

Jack & Jill went up da hill 2 have a little fun.But stupid Jill forgot da pill and now they have a son.

Sex is evil and evil's a sin. but sins are forgiven so lets get stuck in!!

If your right leg was thanksgiving and Your left leg was Christmas could I meet U between the holidays?

I want triplets You want twins. Lets get in bed and see who wins!

He took me from a bar. He took me in his car. He took my top off. He puts his lips on mine, but don't worry: I'm a bottle of wine!

How to impress a woman: compliment her, kiss her, love her, tease her, protect her, listen to her, support her. How 2 impress a man: Show up naked, bring beer!!.

What is hard and long and full of semen? >>> Submarine <<<

Love is a name, Sex is a game. Forget the name and play the game!

When a man talks dirty to a woman, it's sexual harassment. When a woman talks dirty to a man, it's $$$ per minute.!

A cat and a rooster sat by a lake, the cat fell in the lake, the rooster laughed! LESSON: when there's a wet pussy, there's a happy cock!

Why do men pass gas more than women? Because women won't shut up long enough to build up pressure.

1 day there was tis naked man N elephant, da elephant looks at the naked man 4 a few seconds, then ask da naked man, 'HOW CAN U BREATH THRU THAT LITTLE THING?'

I want to suck you... I want to lick you... I wanna move my tongue all over you... I want to feel you in my mouth... that's how u... eat an ice cream...

if u were a drum id bang u, if u were a pig id pork u, if u were a flower id root u, if u were a nail id screw u, but cos ur a sweetie ill make love 2 u!

When I was born I got the choice, or a major dick, or a fine memory. I am not able to remember what I did choose.

Man says to his wife: Let me take a picture of your breasts, then I can always look at them. Wife: Let me take a picture of you penis, I will have it enlarged.

Who is stronger, Man Or Woman? A: A woman bcoz she lifts 2 mountains on her chest while a man lifts 2 stones with the help of a crane.

A husband was asked: Do u talk to your wife after sex? His answer: Depends, if I can find a phone.

Son on his honeymoon phoned his mom asking what 2 do. MOM : Put ur biggest thng on her hairiest thing. SON : got my nose in her armpit. Now what?

Sex is a sensation caused by temptation when a man puts his location in a woman's destination. Do u get my explanation, or do u need a demonstration?!

There is Hot-sex, Fast-sex, Group-sex, Safe-sex, Leather-sex, Telephone-sex, and for people with your face ...NO SEX !

Sex is like pizza. When its good, its VERY GOOD. When its bad, its Still pretty good!!

No comments:

Post a Comment

www.lochan.in

Popular Posts

Best Blogger Gadgets